Battle Wounds
by thewrinkleintime
Summary: The first time Tony sees Bruce's scars it's by accident. Part 2 of Surviving the Dark


AN: This gets a minor warning for references to self harm and sexual situations. You can read this on its own, but it was written as a continuation of Stay, the first part of Surviving the Dark.

* * *

They hadn't progressed past cuddling and sideways glances, as Tony doesn't want to push Bruce, and Bruce is still finding his footing. He has his room, and his lab, and despite his initial protests, he finds he quite likes it at Stark Tower. Tony makes the best pancakes and is good company-even if he did steal all of Bruce's shirts. (Bruce wears a lot of purple these days.)

He and Tony bully Pepper into watching Doctor Who with them, and she in turn introduces them to the wonders of the Winchesters. Tony thinks Dean is hot, and Pepper claims that she's got him hooked. She says, somewhat ominously, that there's no going back. Which is how Bruce sees his time in New York. There was no going back to the way things were before, no returning to self-imposed exile, not after getting a taste of what he was missing. Tony wouldn't have let him leave even if he had tried, but Bruce likes to think it was his decision to stay.

* * *

The first time Tony sees Bruce's scars it's by accident.

Bruce is coming out of the shower, shirt unbuttoned to reveal his chest and humming to himself when Tony barges in. Bruce has gotten used to the spontaneous invasions of privacy, but Tony usually knocked or gave some sort of warning before coming into his room. Today however, Tony is excited. A new part for his particle accelerator had arrived, and he wants Bruce to come help him assemble it.

Bruce is caught off guard and freezes for a moment before trying to button his shirt. It's too late though, because Tony has seen: long white scars that mar his torso, permanent reminders of demons he would rather stay locked away. He begins to panic. But Tony manages to surprise him and only gives a small, sad smile before telling him the good news. He heads down to the lab leaving Bruce to dress.

Bruce gives up with the buttons and buries his face in his hands. He waits for his heartbeat to normalize before moving. It could have gone worse, he reasons with himself. Tony had subtlety acknowledged the scars but hadn't asked about them, leaving it up to Bruce. For someone as blunt and forward as Tony, he could show tact and sensitivity when it was called for. For this Bruce was grateful.

He finishes dressing and goes to meet Tony in his lab. They spend the morning working in quiet contentment, mostly silent save for the occasional question or observation. The day moves along and the topic of Bruce's scars is left untouched.

* * *

The first time Tony touches Bruce's scars it is with a reverence that threatens to make Bruce's eyes water. Tony lightly traces the lines, acknowledging each scar with a gentle brush of fingertips. When he's done he lays his hand flat against Bruce's bare chest, palm directly over his heart. They stand in silence for several moments before Tony leans in and kisses him, light and soft.

The first time they have sex Tony covers his scars with open-mouthed kisses, professing affection and sorrow and admiration all in one. What follows is the most honest, passionate sex Bruce has ever had, albeit slightly awkward at times. Tony says they'll just have to practice.

It's not until a month later that Bruce tells the story behind the scars. He was grateful that Tony had not asked, not even once, but he was ready now.

They're lying in bed; it's late but neither is all that tired. Tony has his head on Bruce's shoulder and a hand on his chest, fingers idly tapping out various rhythms.

"It was after the accident." Tony's fingers still, but he gives no other response.

"After I had tried to kill myself. I realized that the Other Guy would stop me if I did something like that again. I was desperate though. I was angry and I took that anger out on my body. I couldn't kill myself, but the Other Guy couldn't stop me from doing some damage." Bruce feels his heart speed up slightly and pauses for a moment.

Tony lays his hand flat and lifts his head slightly, planting a quick kiss on Bruce's neck to let him know he was listening.

"So I took to knives and razors, anything that could cut skin. Eventually I began to accept the situation and calmed down slightly about it. I wasn't okay with it, but I stopped trying to slice up my flesh." He feels Tony react slightly at the last bit and lays a hand on top of the one on his chest.

"Battle wounds," Tony says softly. "You survived." Bruce hadn't thought of his scars that way, but it was true. His war had been with himself, but it had been a war nonetheless. It had been several years of uncontrollable anger and hate, painful emotions that were easier to express as physical wounds than to deal with properly. Bruce hadn't had anyone to help him either, thanks to his continued isolation. But somehow he got through it. Somehow he had made it out the other side. Things weren't perfect, but he had proven to himself that he could make it, and his scars were a tangible reminder of that strength.

"Yeah, yeah I did."

Tony props himself up on an elbow so he can look Bruce in the eye. "I'm glad you survived." It's _you're worth sticking around for_ and _I love you_ rolled into one and Bruce cups the back of his head with one hand and pulls him down into a searing kiss that only escalates.

Later, after some long, slow sex that leaves them both pleasantly tired, Tony resumes his position of using his boyfriend as a pillow. Bruce absently runs a hand through Tony's hair and whispers, "I'm glad I survived too."


End file.
